Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
