Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
