That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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