i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need water and some morals
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
