So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
