I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
