you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
