The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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