i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
