Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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