Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize