so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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