He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize