So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
