she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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