Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
