How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
