Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
