I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
