Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
