help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
