I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
