how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
