How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
