You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize