Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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