i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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