Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
