You really coming over, don't trick.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
