Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
