Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
