i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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