do herpes really smell.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
MIDGETS
????
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
