the new term for farting is butt boxing.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
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