Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
