No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
