We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize