you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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