I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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