I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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