No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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