Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
