I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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