i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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