Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize