hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
