your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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