When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
