kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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