We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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