I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
