Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
