I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
