I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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