He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
