why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
