nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
