i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
