batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
