I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
