Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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