Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
